Dear Somebody.
This christmas has been melancholy. It was one of the first holidays in a long while that there haven’t been huge rows in my family. There were still many tears though.
I don’t think anyone has the energy anymore. Its empty now though. We are more like ships crossing each other in a corridor, barely even acknowledging each others existence than a family.
Its hard when I see other siblings getting on so well. I’ve always had friends who have had amazingly close families, and I’m always jealous, even though I hate myself for it being so.
I think I was able to enjoy this Christmas because I knew it was the last one where I would be living in this house. Of course I’ll be back next year and the next and so on, but the majority of my time won’t be spent here. I’ll be finally free.
I don’t know how long I’ve waited for this day, or time to come. I just know that now that its nearly here, I’m so very ready that I an’t believe its true. It doesn’t feel real that I should be allowed to feel this happy and satisfied about leaving home.
I suppose its because there is nothing tying me here once I finish school. There are at most 5 friendships that I wish to maintain. Other than that, I couldn’t really care less. Its sad that thats all I have to show after 5 years of living in one town.
Who knows if I’ll miss it. Ask me this time next year. Just know for now. I’m completely and hopeless excited about leaving and finally moving on with my life.
